Life Left To Go
by KnowMyNameNotMyStory
Summary: It's funny how much we seriously take life for granted. How we think we're so alone when really we're shutting people out ourselves. Life doesn't owe us anything; we owe life. We owe ourselves the right to live.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I Do Not Own Victorious**

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><p>All I can remember that night was that I was riding my bike across town.<p>

By the time I reached MidCity Park, it's like my body went into auto gear. I couldn't control myself. I kept riding. Riding like my life depended on it. I reached the beginning of the boardwalk and 100 feet in front of me was the edge of the pier. There was no one around, it was already 2 AM and the drunks had gone home to sleep. It was Sunday night. No one would be that wasted enough to show up at work tomorrow with a total hangover. No one but me.

Here I was, 21 years old, with a bottle of Jack in one hand and holding the rail with another. I set my bike on the concrete, picked myself up off the ground, and stood shakily on the rails. I let the cool ocean breeze slap my heated skin from the bottle of alcohol I had been drinking all night. I took one last sip of my whiskey and dropped it. I let the bottle freefall all the way to the bottom of the pier. The broken glass spread across the shore, thousands of tiny twinkling pieces from the reflection of the moonlight. Even if it was the shore below, it was about a 65-foot drop, 30 feet higher than your average pier. That's because the tide was stronger on this side of the beach, so the boardwalk had to be elevated higher. Needless to say, if I jump, my body would end up just like the broken glass of whiskey down there.

I didn't think that earlier today I'd be in this position. I didn't think it would come down to this. But then again, what else was there to live for? Nothing. So why not jump? I've been dreaming about this same predicament lately, and during this time usually my alarm clock would go off, or I'd wake up in a cold sweat. But pinch me right now and I wasn't dreaming. This was all real. Nothing was going to wake me up.

Except myself.

**~.~.~.~.~**

"I don't know how it all happened. The past half hour was just a blur."

"You can't remember anything?"

"Well, I do remember crying. Just lying in a ball and crying. Then I came here."

"Well I'm glad you came here."

"But I want to kill myself."

"I know you do, but you didn't."

"I need help."

"That's what I'm here for."

"No, I don't need more therapy. I need serious help. Can't you give me more medicine or something?"

"I don't think medicine is the issue here."

"Well then help me."

"Okay. How about you come here every day for 3 hour sessions for a while, then when you feel better, we can go back to once a w-"

"No. Therapy won't work."

"You're not suicidal."

"YES I AM! I was about to jump off the pier!"

"But you didn't. There's a difference. You're depressed."

"What difference does it make?! Whether I'm depressed or suicidal, I just want to kill myself."

I got up from my seat and started pulling roughly on my hair. I paced the room back and forth and my therapist just sat there. She let me do this, she knew me so well. She knew I'd never jump.

"Look, Doc. Just because I won't jump doesn't mean I don't want to. Maybe not today, but one of these days we won't have another session like this because I'll have jumped and died."

"Yes, see but you've been making so much progress. This is the first time you've actually physically tried to harm yourself but you didn't. I don't know why you're waiting, but there must be a reason why. And I can help you figure that out."

"But I don't want to just sit here and talk for hours. How is that helping me?"

"Well then what do you want?"

"I want help. Can't you check me in to a psychiatric ward or something?"

"You're not in that condition to be checked in."

"How do you know that?!"

"Because I work at a ward and you've got so much progress just going to these sessions with me than you will there."

"But Doc, what if I need to be with people around me that I can relate to?"

"You are around people you can relate to. Your friends. You've got a lot of them."

"They don't understand me."

"Because you won't open up."

"Because I just know they won't understand."

"How will you know that if you don't talk to them?"

"I don't know. I just do…"

I sulked my head and buried my face in my hands. I felt sorry for my doctor. And my parents too for paying so much for me to go to therapy. But mostly for my doctor. She has to sit around for two hours listening to me piss and moan about the cruelty of life. And she's right though, I don't have it crazy bad, I'm just not a happy person.

I guess I should tell you a little more about myself. My name's Robbie Shapiro. I'm I guess what you call average. Yeah. That's basically the word that sums up my life. Average isn't bad, but at the same time it's not the best thing to describe your life.

When you've got a dad that puts you in a pedestal and expects you to fill his shoes in when it's time to step down, it's tough. Typical. I know. He wants me to be a successful salesman and take over his Audi dealership in the Valley but I just don't want to kiss people's asses for the rest of my life. He told me to take a few business courses just to dip my feet in the field. And if I didn't want to do it after college, then so be it. But that compromise turned into declaring my major in business. And that led to him already preparing a year in advance my position as junior sales manager at his dealership. Not once did he ever ask me what I wanted or if I even wanted to work with him. To my dad, life was all about compromise, but mostly to his favor. So what was the deal about compromise if it didn't benefit you?

Then you have my mother. She's not as strict as my father, but sometimes I wish she had a backbone. She's so in check with her feelings it's ridiculous. She treats me like a baby. Cares for me way too much and throws a fit whenever I get something as little as a paper cut. She seems nice right? So why am I complaining? I'm guessing you think I'm an asshole for not appreciating her, but I don't know really. It's difficult to explain.

I've got friends, my doctor was right about that. But I guess I compare myself too much to them that I don't feel like I fit in. I guess it's just the stage you get to when you're in your younger years. I mean I know I'm already 21, but after next year I need to have my life sorted out. Otherwise college would have been a waste. I just don't know.

"I'll tell you what," My doctor said. "I won't admit you to the hospital just yet, but I want you to check out the place."

"I can?"

"Yes. But there's more."

"Okay…"

"I want you to volunteer for a whole week; five days with me. Meet some patients. Help the staff. Feel the environment. And by Friday, if you still think you're suicidal, I'll admit you."

"This isn't one of your weird psychological things is it?" I questioned.

"So what if it is, and what if it isn't?" she retorted.

"I'm telling you doc, I'm not going to change my mind. I'll still want to be admitted."

"So do we have a deal?" She held out her hand awaiting my reply.

There was nothing to lose, really.

So I extended my hand and shook on it.

"Deal."

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><p><strong>Bet you didn't expect to hear from me again, did you? Lol well 'tis the season. It's been a long year and I will explain everything in the end. For now, this is my Holiday gift to you all. Brace yourselves. This short story will be filled with lots of depression. I'm warning you now. But like I said, my an's will explain it all. If I have time tonight I'll even upload the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning ready for the day ahead of me. I was surprisingly fine with what I had gotten myself into with therapist last night. Nothing seemed to bother me. More so, I told my mother that I'd be taking a few more therapy sessions with my doctor and I was not at all nervous. Of course, being the caring mom she was, she didn't question, only encouraged.

"Oh baby that's wonderful. I'm sure she can help you more than anyone."

"Thanks, mom. Is dad here?"

"No honey, he's kind of busy this week. You know, end of the year means he's got a lot of numbers to crunch."

Good, I thought. I won't have to come up with reasons not to be around him while I'm gone this week.

"Okay. Well I might also help out at the hospital too. You know, make some use of my vacation," I mentioned before leaving.

For some reason, my words resonated in her head long enough for my mother stopped drying the dishes and turned to me. She had a look in her eyes. You know that look when a parent is proud of something their kid did. Something I don't think I've ever gotten before. And what I said just now didn't seem so gold star worthy either. Nevertheless, she placed the washcloth on the counter and pulled me in for a hug.

"Sweetheart, whatever it is that you're doing, I'm not going to question. Just know that I love you and I'm proud of you."

I guess there was one person I wouldn't want to leave. My mom. But I don't know. To be honest, that's still not enough to shake these suicidal thoughts.

After breakfast I headed over to the hospital. It was in Westwood Health Center, MidCity was on my way. Driving over, I replayed the events that happened last night. Seeing the sidewalk where I was biking past. And a couple miles past the hospital would be the pier. God what was I thinking? Then again, I'm still so confused why I didn't jump. I just want to get help already.

I pulled into a visitor spot with the parking permit my doctor gave me last night and got out of my car. I took a look at the grey building in front of me and thought this is where I'll be for a while. I just know it. I zipped up my jacket and made my way inside. The receptionist told me the psychiatric ward was on the third floor and that my doctor was expecting me. She looked at me funny. I just didn't know if she was profiling me as a patient, or that she was expecting me this entire morning. Weird.

When I made it to the lobby of the third floor I finally met with my doctor.

"Dr. Vega. Hi."

"Good morning, Robbie," she greeted me with a smile." She got the people at the desks' attention.

"Guys, this is one of my therapy patients, Robbie Shapiro. He'll be helping us out this week. So whatever you need he'll be glad to help. And, with my permission, Robbie can help out and participate with the other patients and volunteers too."

They all greeted me and in an instant went straight to work. Wow, for a facility that's supposed to help people, they sure aren't friendly. Then again, I'm not a patient… Yet.

"Okay Robbie, you can walk around and meet some patients today or just help out here at the desk, maybe pass out some medication? Do whatever you feel. Lunch is at noon."

"Got it, Doc."

"Paging Doctor Trina Vega. You're needed in the west wing," a voice from the P.A. system announced.

"That's my cue," she smiled. But before she dashed off, someone came from the bathroom and walked towards us.

"Oh perfect. Beck, come here," she told the guy. Once he was spotted, he started walking slowly toward us.

"Robbie, this is Beck. Mr. Oliver can you show our new volunteer around a bit?"

I gave Doctor Vega a look that said 'are you seriously leaving me in the hands of a suicidal patient?!'

Apparently she read my gesture right and chuckled.

"Don't worry, Robbie. You're in good hands. Beck's a good guy."

"Yeah, I won't bite… much," he smirked.

"Beck, be nice," she said and darted off to where she was needed.

There was just something about him that made me curious but at the same time a little scared to talk to him. But I didn't want to leave him, so I followed him.

"So, Robbie, right?" he asked. By this point we had been walking in silence for about 10 seconds. Me being the observant type just tried to study him. That's why it startled me a bit when he suddenly talked to me.

"Y-yeah?"

"Don't worry, man. I'm not going to hurt you," he chuckled. "Lighten up."

He nudged my shoulder and I tried loosening up.

"Sorry. First day here, you know?" I nervously chuckled.

"Relax dude, we're all human here," Beck explained. "Just… humans with issues," he chuckled.

There was something about him that said he was harmless, but at the same time I couldn't tell if he meant well or not.

"So here we have the game room," he pointed at an open hall with a few tables, couches, bookshelves, and board games against an old television at the corner of the room. For a psychiatric ward, they really didn't make this place seem a bit more… comforting to say the least. We went further down the hall and stopped by a fairly large office. There was a couch and a table, also a TV at the top of a bookshelf. IT was somewhat more modern, but the vibe still seemed outdated. "This here is the visitation room. When you want people to visit, they usually are only allowed in here. You know, for safety. But they let it slide sometimes if you have kids or friends and you want them to play in the game room, or they can go to the cafeteria to eat with you," Beck explained.

"How long can they stay?" I wondered.

"Never really asked that. Usually visitors don't stay any longer than an hour. And that's partly because they eat at the cafeteria. Besides, who would want to go here for fun?" Beck pointed out.

I guess Dr. Vega never told people I volunteered myself here. Good thing, Beck would've thought I was the weird one.

We walked further down the hallway and stopped by Beck's room.

"Robbie Shapiro, this is Sinjin Van Cleef. He's the lucky guy that gets to room with me," Beck said cheerfully.

"How long has he been here?"

"A year and a half, I think? Maybe two?" Beck guessed.

"And how long have you been here?" I asked.

"This time around? I'm going on three weeks now."

This time around? How many times has this man been admitted here?

"Sinj, want to say hi to my new friend, Robbie?" Beck offered.

The thing about Sinjin was that he didn't seem to bother to interact with anyone. He was introverted I guess. The type of introverted who really didn't talk to anyone else, or bothered to try. After we'd leave the room, Beck would tell me that Sinjin was like that. He never left his room. He never spoke to anyone, and didn't show any emotion. He was their quietest resident, yet a part of me sensed that he had a lot to say.

"So he never leaves? He just lays in bed all day?" I asked after we visited a few more patients.

"Yep," Beck nodded. "Word on the street is that he survived a car accident, but unfortunately his brother died."

"Survivor's guilt," I whispered.

"I guess so," Beck heard. "He was so traumatized that after he was released from the hospital, he fled from his home and somehow ended up here in California."

"What do you mean?"

"He's not from here. He never went to his brother's funeral, and his family doesn't even know where he is. He's ashamed to go home, kid."

"Well do they even worry if he's alive?" I asked.

"If they did, wouldn't they have come looking for him by now?" Beck retorted. "What if he wants to be alone?"

"No one wants to be alone," I disagreed.

"You'd be surprised," Beck commented.

Later that day, I had a brief session with Dr. Vega. Beck had an art class so I wasn't missing out on anything. I'd only spent a few hours with him, but I was so interested to know more about the people here, including Beck. I just didn't know how to ask him.

"Say, Doc?"

"Yes, Robbie?" Dr. Vega looked up from her notepad.

"What do you know about Beck?"

"Robbie," Dr. Vega chuckled. "You really think I'd tell you about other patients here?"

"Why not? Beck does."

"Beck's a patient. He tells you what people know. The public gossip. If you know someone's story, then you're entitled to talk about it amongst yourselves. I'll let him tell you himself."

"Why, is it bad?"

"Robbie, just ask him if you're so curious," Dr. Vega said.

"Can I ask you one more question?" I begged.

"It depends if I'm able to disclose the answer should it be personal to Mr. Oliver's life."

"No it's not. Well, sort of…"

"Okay, go ahead. Ask away."

"Beck's… a good guy, right? I mean he seems like a good guy. I just want to know if he really is and not just being nice to me to mess with my head."

"The only thing I can tell you is this," Dr. Vega began, "the residents here like Beck. They respect him. He's nice to the kids, funny, and quite a character. But, like all patients here, he has a story. Just not a story he likes to share with just anyone. But, like you, no one bothers to ask."

"He does seem cool," I said.

"You really have taken a liking to Mr. Oliver haven't you?" she asked.

"It's just. I feel like I can relate. Whatever his story is, not understanding makes me understand just a little bit, you know?"

After my session, I met up with Beck in the game room. Dr. Vega was nice, don't get me wrong. I love my sessions with her. She's the only one that listens to me, and she knows more than anyone about me. But I was determined to ask Beck why he was here. I had a gut feeling I was privileged enough to tell me. I hope.

At his table, Beck was setting up some Chinese checkers. I sat across from him and set up my side of the board. Well, here goes nothing.

"Say Beck?"

"What's up, kid?"

"Thanks for giving me a tour of the place, and you know, hanging out with me. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm not exactly cool."

"What?" Beck didn't believe me. "You're a lot of cool. You dress nice. You smell nice. You're sane. You're cool, Rob. Hey, 'Cool Rob'. That's what I'll call you."

"Cool Rob?"

"Yeah, because you're cool," he laughed. "Didn't I just establish that?"

"Thanks man," I chuckled. "So… why are you here?"

"Same as everyone else, we're kind of jumbled up here," he pointed at his skull.

I laughed a bit, but I knew he was dismissing the question.

"No, really," I chuckled. "What's up?"

"You really want to know, kid?" Beck asked.

"Yeah."

"Reeeeeally want to know?"

"Yes!"

"It's crazy," he smirked.

"I'm sure whatever it is, I won't judge," I assured him.

"Okay," he chuckled.

This was it. He was going to tell me.

"Vacation."

"Vacation?"

"Yeah. Vacation."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm here on vacation," he explained.

"I thought you're a patient here?" I was confused.

"I am," he confirmed.

"Then what do you mean vacation?"

"I mean vacation. You know how people go to Disneyland or Hawaii for a getaway?" he explained.

"Yeah?"

"Well, this is my break. This is my vacation. It's cheaper, less stressful. They feed me, and I get to meet cool people like you, Cool Rob," he smiled.

I left it at that. I knew there was more to his reason, but I let it rest for now. If he was cool enough to tell me that, I had a feeling he'd tell me more. Not that I was itching to know, I just felt that I connected to him in some way. Like I told Dr. Vega, I feel like he'd understand me.

"So how the hell do you play Chinese checkers?" Beck asked.

"I don't know, you're the one who wanted to play," I chuckled.

"I thought it'd be like regular checkers only fancier pieces. You know, like fine china plates compared to IKEA brand," he joked.

"Damn, this is too confusing," I stared blankly at the board. There were marbles instead of checkers, and so many spots on the board than normal checkers. "No wonder the Chinese are so smart. They've gotta place much intricate versions of our dumbed down American games," I laughed.

"What do you say we blow this off and get some ice cream at the cafeteria?" Beck suggested.

"I'm down."

We put the game away and headed towards the cafeteria. Beck decided to be funny and ran ahead of me.

"Last one there is a rotten egg!" and then he darted. I swear the guy was a man-child.

I started to run, but stopped my tracks for a minute when the elevator dinged and some staff personnel was pushing a cart of medicine out of the shaft. While I waited for them to leave the elevator, something caught my attention. Or rather someone. In the room right next to the elevator doors was the reading/quiet area, a place Beck rarely went to because in his opinion, if he were staying at a psych ward, he wouldn't be spending his tax dollars reading there. The room seems to be well kept, though the books themselves looked older than a lot of patients. It really was a matter of interest to utilize the space, and like Beck; many patients didn't want to waste time reading during their stay. Though a few would use it from time to time. Probably to cool off or pass time. Today, there was a girl sitting down at the couch reading a magazine. Beck and I met almost everyone on the floor today, probably missing a few patients because they were busy. How could we have possibly missed one on the north wing? We spent the most time there. I felt compelled to go up to her and introduce myself, wanting everyone to know I'm the newest volunteer there. Though my thoughts were cut short when I heard Beck's voice down the hall.

"Hey Cool Rob, come on before I eat all the food!"

Oh well, I guess I'd have to introduce myself to her tomorrow.

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><p><strong>AN: Hey folks, hope everyone is doing alright. It's been a while and most of us probably saw less and less time for this site, but I'm sure we look back and reminisce those summers when we'd have nothing but time to write, support and update one another about anything and everything. **

**I have plans for my future with FF, and I'm sure you all probably know what it is. Don't think of this as a continuation or my last hurrah just yet. Just think of it as I'm just visiting... for now. This story is 6 chapters. I wrote it a year ago, and I'm sharing it now. It's dark. I do talk about suicide and depression. But like always, there's a message. Hope you stay tuned until the end.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Beck!" I yelled from across the hall. I know it's only my second day here and not everyone is as enthusiastic to be at a psych ward at 8 in the morning, but I really enjoyed my first day yesterday. So much that I'm so eager to come early.

"Oh hey there Mr. Shapiro," Beck high fived me once I reached him at the desk.

"Good morning, Robbie!" Doctor Vega greeted me with a smile. Now a lot of doctors out there have a default smile that they need to show for their patients, but there's something about my doc's smile that just seems genuine, like she's honestly happy to see you.

"Hi Doc. I'm here bright and early," I smiled back.

"And what are you doing today?" she asked.

"Oh just going to meet some more patients with Beck."

"Why is it I get the feeling that you really want to just hangout with Mr. Oliver instead of actually helping out," she giggled.

I playfully shrugged and Beck and I hurried off to the other end of the corridor before she could say any more. And like that, she giggled and went back to her paperwork. Dr. Vega is so awesome.

"Say Doctor Vega," a receptionist asked her.

"Yes, Stacy?"

"I thought that Robbie boy was supposed to not like it here. Seems to me that he wants to be here," the girl said.

"Robbie's a special kid, Stacy. I've been his therapist for 6 years, and I just know there's potential inside of him somewhere."

"Yeah, but he's got three days to tell you he wants to check in here. Do you really think he'll change his mind and reconsider?"

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see, huh?" Doctor Vega smiled at Stacy.

"So, what are we doing today?" I eagerly asked Beck.

"I wanted you to meet this one patient, Sikowitz. He's been away at his other hospital for the past 2 days and got back this morning."

We were walking towards an older man who wore what looked like hippie clothing. I was assuming he was the one we were to meet.

"Is that really his name?" I whispered to Beck so the man wouldn't hear me.

"Haha, yeah," Beck chuckled. "I know it sounds like 'psycho', but he really is kind of messed up in the head."

"Oh," I said.

"The man's wife died in some kind of freak accident and he survived. It's the survivor's guilt that messed himself up and he's gone mad. He's not violent, but he's convinced himself he's stuck in this limbo that everything around him is good and he doesn't have a past or a future. He just lives for the day and starts all over the next day."

"So he forgets?"

"Purposely forgets. But he doesn't have Alzheimer's or any kind of dementia."

"But doesn't that get tiring?"

"He figures if he doesn't attach himself to anything, he can never get hurt."

"I guess," I said.

Beck and I walked towards the old man and he introduced us properly.

"Hey Sikowitz."

"Beck, good to see you boy!"

"Good to see you too buddy. I'd like you to meet my new friend, Robbie."

"Hello Robbie," he held his hand out like a perfectly normal person.

"Hi there," I shook it.

"So how was the other hospital?" Beck asked.

"I don't remember, really," he said.

"He never remembers. Or at least he refuses to remember," Beck whispered to me.

"So what are you boys up to?" Sikowitz asked.

"We're about to grab something to eat at the cafeteria. Care to join us?" I asked him.

"No thanks, I'm going fishing in about 20 minutes with the boys."

"Okay, maybe next time?"

"Maybe," Sikowitz said and skipped off.

"Fishing?" I was puzzled.

"He'll come up with an excuse not to be around people when he doesn't have to," Beck explained. "Want to grab a snack?"

"Sure."

"To the cafeteria we go!" Beck led the way.

I was still pretty curious about the patient, so I kept asking Beck questions.

"What do you mean he'll come up with excuses?" I asked once we grabbed pudding cups and found a table to sit.

"Sikowitz will talk to you, but never makes plans. So that maybe was an empty maybe. He doesn't want to remember or get attached. That way he won't trigger any memory of his past."

"How do you know all this?"

"When I'm bored I read patient files during Stacy's break."

"You mean they just let you go behind the desk and read all those things?"

"No, I'm just that good," Beck smirked.

"What does Sikowitz do the rest of the time he's here?" I asked.

"He'll just be in his room and talk to himself. Or draw. But mostly talk to himself. And if you ever peak, he's even got the gestures too. Like he's got split identity and making conversation. You know, like acting."

"Does he have any other family?"

"You're pretty nosey aren't you?" Beck chuckled. "First Sinjin, now Sikowitz."

"Just curious," I defended.

"It's okay, man. His family dumped him here. No one could handle his behavior. How a guy can just choose to block a part of his life out like it never happened. And then live every day not caring. They're just pretty much waiting for him to kick the bucket."

"That's so sad," I said.

"Well, we've all got sad stories here. That's why we're patients," Beck joked.

"So why are you here?" I asked him again. I didn't get a real answer before.

"I already told you, man. Vacation."

"Look, I know we just met, but I feel like we can be good friends. And you can tell me to stop whenever you want, but I'm just trying to be a friend."

"Thanks buddy. So if you want to be a friend, then don't ask me again."

"Okay," I mumbled. This bitter side of Beck was different. I guess he noticed and set his spoon down.

"Listen," he sighed. "I'm sorry. My medicine is probably wearing off," Beck said.

"It's fine," I answered. I didn't want to upset him more, but I made a mental note to find out about Beck Oliver by the end of the week.

In an instant, Beck changed the subject and we were laughing so hard about random puke stories he had from tasting disgusting food in the cafeteria.

"There was hair in the meat?" I asked, clutching to my side, trying to resist laughter.

"Yeah. A long blond strand. And the lunch lady had brunette hair," Beck pointed out.

"But, how did the jell-o even have meat to begin with?" I questioned.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Beck said. We both looked at each other and burst into fits of laughter.

"Makes me think this pudding isn't safe to eat anymore," I joked.

"No, they bought these snack packs at the store, we're safe," Beck said taking a spoonful in his mouth. "But we've been asking for a pizza party for the longest time. Doctor Vega says we can have one, so long as we pay for it. But where the hell are we going to get that kind of cash?"

Across from us a girl sat with her phone in one hand and a fork in another, on the table she had some fruit in a bowl and a bottle of apple juice. It was like she was in her own little world as she stared out the window. She looked so content. I can't even remember the last time I felt that way. That's when I realized that I knew that familiar face. Well, sort of. Yesterday I passed by the reading room and saw her in there. I don't know what it was about her. Just something peaceful looking. And there she was again, looking so serene eating a bunch of grapes and orange slices, staring out the window.

I didn't notice how long I was staring at her and got lost in my own little world. All I remembered was Beck snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Huh, what?"

"Finally, I've been calling your name and snapping my fingers for like a minute now," Beck said.

"Oh, sorry man. I was just out of it for a second," I casually took a bite of my pudding.

"Uh huh. Right. You mean day dreaming?" He smirked.

"Wha- daydreaming?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Rob. You were staring at that girl, weren't you?" Beck poked at me.

"No I wasn't," I tried to cover. Damn, I was staring at her the whole time?!

"Dude, I'm not blind, I can see it in your eyes," he said.

"You know, Beck. You probably ate another hair in your pudding. You're delusional," I retorted.

"Good thing I'm at this hospital then," he chuckled.

We took a bite of our pudding again. After a moment, I spoke up.

"So, who is she?" I asked quietly.

"Knew it," Beck smiled so wide, I swear people in Tokyo could see his teeth.

"I'm just curious."

"No, I get it. What are you, nineteen? You got a girlfriend?"

"Twenty-one. And no."

"Ah, yes. I remember when I was twenty-one… and hormonal," Beck chuckled.

"Shut up, man. I'm just curious. I didn't even think about her that way."

"I don't know, your mind says one thing, but your hormones may say otherwise," Beck smirked. "Those pants looking a little tight to you, Rob?" He joked.

"What? No!" I blushed, checking my pants in case… well, you know. Nothing. God, Beck can really embarrass a person.

"Alright, Robbie, I'll leave your love life alone, for now," Beck laughed.

"Thank you," I said, calming my cheeks down.

"Beck, you've got a phone call," Stacy hollered to him at the door.

"Oh, I'll be right back," Beck stood up.

"Wait, Beck!" I pleaded.

He rolled his eyes and laughed. Then before running off, he said,

"Well if you must know," he jokingly grudged, "her name is Cat. Just another regular here."

"What's she here for?" I asked.

"Hey, you don't want me prying in on your life, kid. I've said enough anyway," he winked and ran off to take his call.

So her name was Cat. Yeah, she looked like a 'Cat'. That's a nice name. And a nice animal too. It suits her. She looked delicate. I've never had a cat before. Or even a dog. Actually, I never owned a pet. I'd never have time for it anyways. But then again, pets taught you responsibility, and they can become good companions. Maybe I should've had a pet. Probably wouldn't have been this lonely. And I probably would-

"Helloooo?"

Just then, the girl was standing right in front of me.

"Um. Hi," I said. _That's it? That's all you have to say? My god, Robbie, you are an idiot_.

"I don't mean to be this blunt, and if it were anywhere else I'd probably do worse, but since we're at a hospital, I'm just wondering why you were staring at me just now?" she asked in the most casual way possible.

I was staring again?! Jesus I need to control my eyes!

"Oh, crap. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to. I was kind of out of it for a second."

"Riiiight," she half-believed me.

"No, honest. I'm sorry," I begged for her forgiveness.

"Okay, I guess I forgive you," she giggled.

Well, she laughed. _That's a good thing, right?_

"Um, do you want to sit?" I offered her Beck's seat.

"I don't know, are you going to do something weird like stare at me again?" she raised an eyebrow.

"No, I swear," I held my hands up like I was surrendering to any doubts she had in her mind.

"Okay, but only because I want to," she said.

"I'm Robbie," I said as I held my hand out.

"I'm Cat," she shook it.

"I know."

"You know my name?" she was confused.

"Yeah. No! Well… yeah, Beck told me," I said embarrassed.

"Hmm, Robbie I'm starting to regret sitting at this table with you. Since you've been staring at me and prying vital information about me," she said. Though I didn't know if she was joking.

"No! I- God, I'm making a horrible impression on you right now, aren't I?"

"It's okay, I don't mind. Perfect is overrated anyways," she shrugged, unaffected.

"Can we start over?" I suggested.

"Sure," she smiled. "So you're the new volunteer I'm guessing?"

"Yeah," I said. I was surprised she didn't automatically assume I was a patient. "Started yesterday."

"Welcome to the 3rd Floor," she said cheerfully.

"So, how long have you been here?" I asked.

"I've been coming here since I was sixteen."

"Really?" I was amazed. "Do you mind if I ask how old you are?"

"Hasn't anyone ever told you to never ask a lady what her age is?" she smirked.

"Yeah, but I was just wondering how long you've been at this hospital."

"If you must know," she playfully sighed, "Six years. I'm twenty two."

"And you still come here?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. You're pretty young. I'd think you'd be able to solve your problems."

"Wait," she paused. "You think I'm a patient here?"

"Um… yeah?" I said unsure.

"No, I'm not a patient here," she said. "What gave you that impression?"

"Uh…"

"Wait, Beck, huh?" she figured out.

"That, and the way you were answering my questions."

"Robbie, I'm not a patient. I'm a volunteer. I've been volunteering here since I was 16."

"Oh, so that's what Beck meant when he said you were a regular here," I realized. "Sorry, my mistake."

"Why were you so interested in me that you had to ask Beck so much?" she was curious.

"No, I swear that's all he told me. Your name and that you were a regular. I'm really not a creep," I said.

"But you just wanted to know my name?"

"What can I say, I'm a curious kid," I shrugged.

"Yeah, everyone's curious," she giggled.

"So, you've been volunteering here?" I asked.

"Yeah. And to answer your other question, just because you're not a patient at a psychiatric hospital, doesn't mean you've got your whole life together."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I know what you mean," I apologized. I've apologized so much to one person in the same sitting. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure, why not? You've made quite an impression with me, Robbie. Nothing will really scare me now," she joked.

"Why are you a volunteer here?'

"Why are you?" she answered with the same question.

"Because I want to," I said cautiously.

"So do I," she simply replied.

"Yeah, but this long? Wouldn't you want to volunteer upstairs with the other patients?"

"You mean the 'normal' ones?" she asked.

"Well… I don't mean anything bad by that. I just mean-"

"What is normal anyways, Robbie?" she said.

She got up and pushed her chair in. Before she walked off, she turned back to me to answer my question. At least I think she did.

"You know, a broken heart is just as painful as a broken leg. Maybe even worse."


	4. Chapter 4

On my third day at Westwood, I was in for a surprise. Now until today, Beck was the cool and collected guy. Everyone knew him. Everyone liked him. He would otherwise be a normal guy. That's why I always wondered why he would choose a hospital for a so-called 'vacation'. Then again, if he were allowed to be there, why wouldn't Doctor Vega admit me?

When I got to the 3rd floor, I was looking for him. He wasn't at the usual place, the front desk, and nobody that I asked had seen him that morning. That was weird. I was about to see if he was at the cafeteria, until I heard something down the south wing. Making my way down the corridor, I finally spotted him. He was in the visitation room. And he wasn't alone. There was a woman standing in front of him. She was fairly tall, curvy where it counted, and had long dark hair. She looked intimidating, yet at the same time inviting. Something told me that the reason why Beck was here wasn't just vacation. And it probably had to do with the woman in the room with him. With the muffled yelling, I didn't really know the reason for her fury, but she was really sticking it to him. And there Beck was, just sitting in his chair, taking it all in. As calm as he looked, his eyes said otherwise. I've never seen him like this before. I've never seen him so helpless.

A part of me knew it was rude to stare. Then again, I've been in the most awkward situations already. Especially yesterday with Cat, but I just couldn't seem to let myself leave Beck, even if he didn't know I was right outside.

The door suddenly opened and the woman stepped out. Beck was still sitting in his chair, not moving, but this time I could see his face buried in his hands. The woman went up to a little girl and told her she could go inside. Whoa, I didn't even see a kid sitting outside the door. Man, does my focus suck. Wait, is this Beck's family? Why wouldn't he tell me this? Then again, he never really told me much about himself.

Once the girl stepped inside, the woman sulked in her chair and heaved out an anticipated sighed. I ran to the kitchen, which was thankfully in the same wing, and brought back a water bottle.

"Um, miss? Would you like a water bottle?" I offered. Strange I know, but this was a psych ward. How much more strange can you get?

"Thanks," she said. She took it a bit unsure, but with the morning she was having, she really didn't care.

"You a patient here?" she asked after taking a sip then started reapplying her makeup in front of me. I decided to lean against the wall adjacent to her. One reason so that Beck wouldn't see me if he wanted to check up on the woman through the window; and two, to give her some space.

"No, a volunteer."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's okay," I said. "So, you know Beck?"

"Oh, I know Beck alright. I'm his wife."

So she is the wife. Beck's married. That must be his kid.

"You met him yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, I help him and a few other patients here most days," I said. That wasn't entirely true, but then again it wasn't entirely false.

"Well Beck may think he can vacation here as many times as he wants, but he really needs to grow a pair and be a man," his wife said. "I don't know how much he's said about himself…"

"He doesn't really talk about himself," I added.

"Of course, typical Beck," she spat with pure sarcasm. "Trying to be the _cool_ _guy_. Well instead of trying to save your pride, be a supportive family man. If not to me, then for the sake of his daughter. You know, we've been married 10 years and he hasn't proved himself a husband to me. So much for those damn wedding vows. That's what you get for marrying young," she scoffed.

"If you don't mind me asking…" I said.

She got the hint.

"I was pregnant with Lily right out of high school. When she turned two we decided to just get hitched already. But one thing led to another and he just stopped supporting his family. That's why he comes here."

I barely met this woman for five minutes and she's told me more about Beck than he's ever told me about himself.

"Beck's got too much pride," she said. She was finally finished with her makeup and recomposed herself. "I'll admit, there were times he deserved to get shot down, but at this rate, I just wish he would try. He's better than this."

"You think so?" I genuinely asked.

She thought for a moment, looked into the room. I glanced over as well. Beck was talking to his daughter like they were in a normal setting. She seemed to still love her father because she was smiling and hugging him back. Wow, for a preteen, she was taking her father's predicament maturely. Made me wonder what's wrong with me.

"Lily tells me her father will come around. I'm just waiting for that to happen."

"Do you believe her?"

"If my daughter believes in him, then I guess I should too."

"D-do you still love him?"

"I do," she deeply sighed. It's like she was afraid to admit it. "But love can only get you so far, kid," she said.

I was about to answer that, defend love and all, when someone called my name.

"Hey Robbie."

"Cat, hi," I straightened my posture and smiled. Beck's wife gave me a smug grin and started putting her makeup away. My God this woman changed moods so fast.

"You following me again?" she joked.

"No, I'm just waiting for Beck. I think we're going to visit Sinjin but I don't remember what room he's in."

"I think he's in 302. But don't take my word for it. I'm usually on the East wing."

"Thanks, I'll wait for Beck just to make sure though," I told her. "So what do you do here?"

"Same as you. Talk to the patients. Hangout, eat the nasty cafeteria food," she made a face.

"Yeah, I heard stories about it," I chuckled. "I also heard about the pizza party everyone wants."

"Yeah, maybe one day they can have it here," Cat said.

"So… Uh…" I started to say, but then I chickened out. Damn, it's only a girl. Why couldn't I keep a conversation going? My eyes wandered and even Beck's wife was glaring at me like '_Dude, just ask her out already!_' It was so obvious I wanted to, but I didn't even know if I wanted to 'ask her out'.

My thoughts were distracted when the door opened and Beck's daughter Lily stepped outside. For a moment Cat and I watched the family talk.

"Thanks for bringing her, Jade," Beck said.

"Well, she wanted to visit you," she said.

"So, I'll call you later?" he asked.

"I don't know, Beck," his wife said.

We knew it'd be awkward so Cat turned back to me and tried to continue our conversation.

"Hey, if you get a break later, say around 3, I'll be in the cafeteria. I can save some pudding for you," she offered.

"Sure, 3 o' clock. See you," I said.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Once the girls were all gone and it was just me and Beck, we decided to walk around for a while. I'm pretty sure he knew I'd have questions, but I was waiting for him to tell me. We visited Sinjin again because I wanted to. I know the guy doesn't leave the room, but I just really wanted to try. But, no luck. We did have a nice conversation and Beck told me that Sinjin barely talked to anyone, so I thought that was some sort of progress. I also felt like paying a visit to Sikowitz again. Since I met the guy, it just amazes me his way of thinking. I mean, there's selective hearing, but this is selective living to the extreme. I just know there's something in him that remembers and is crying to be let out.

Finally, at the game room, Beck spoke up.

"So, my wife came by today."

I gave him an 'oh really?' look. Of course I knew she visited. I was there.

"Was that your daughter too?"

"Yeah, Lily. She's a beauty isn't she?" Beck smiled at the thought of his daughter. He really loved her just as much as she loved him.

"Yeah she's cute."

"She takes after her mother."

"Yeah your wife, she's _whoa_," I commented.

"Yeah, she's hot. I know," Beck chuckled. "But she's mine. Well, she _was_ mine."

"What do you mean? Aren't you still married?"

"Yeah, we are. But I don't think for much longer. She's kept up with me for so long that her patience is probably running its course. She wants me to grow up and I'm trying, but it's hard."

"I know what you mean," I said.

"How do you know that, kid? You're 21."

"And 30 is the age of reason?" I chuckled. "But I get it. I'm getting out of school soon and I still don't know what to do. What job I want, and how to live, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop."

"Then how come you wanted to be admitted here?"

"Because I know people can help me here."

"People can help you, or you don't want to deal with it yourself?"

"You should speak for yourself," I blurted. Without thinking on my part. Beck looked at me in utter shock. Oh boy. I think I'm going to get a pounding.

"I'm sorry, Beck, that was out of line," I apologized.

"No, kid. You're probably right. I guess we all deal with this stuff our own ways," he sighed.

"W-well, if it helps, she still believes in you."

"And how do you know that?" he raised an eyebrow at me.

"She told me," I shared.

"You talked to Jade?" he was surprised.

"Yeah well we crossed paths in the hallway."

"I'm surprised she didn't break a limb on your body," Beck chuckled.

"What?" I shyly chuckled.

"Jade's vicious. She hates when people get in her business," Beck explained.

"Well, maybe she just wanted someone to listen to her," I suggested.

That kept Beck thinking for a minute.

"She doesn't want to leave you, Beck. Just know that," I tried to tell him.

"Well, if you know that all along, why'd you let me be a sappy priss for ten minutes?!" Beck playfully punched my shoulder.

"Hey, ow! I don't know, maybe I thought you needed to talk it out too," I grabbed the spot on my shoulder where he punched me. It hurt.

"Thanks, Robbie," he held out his hand. I shook it, and for the first time that day, aside from when he was with his daughter, Beck smiled.

"No problem," I said. "I just want you to be happy, man."

"Happy?" Beck laughed. "What is happy?"

"You're asking the wrong person," I laughed along.

"You know, you can put a definition to happy as much as you want, but happiness isn't how it used to be, I'll tell you that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean before, people weren't searching for happiness, it was a state of mind. Like euphoria."

"Isn't that what it is now?"

"Not even close. See, people have to be told they're happy, or that they're living a good life. They have to have some evidence to even have an ounce of security to feel 'happy'. It's all material and status."

"Well, how would you define happy back then? Like how would you feel it?" I wondered.

"Like how you feel all your other emotions, kid. What do you care about? Who do you love? Don't they all make you happy?"

"But aren't people objects too?"

"You don't own people. It's their presence that makes you happy," he replied. When Beck let himself be this philosophical wise man, he really made you think. "Kind of like Cat."

"Huh?" that caught me off guard.

"Don't play stupid with me, Robbie," Beck smirked. How he can immediately change subjects still to this day amazes me.

"I have not idea what you're talking about."

"Right, and while I was saying goodbye to my wife and daughter, Cat wasn't asking you on a lunch date?"

"Date? That's not a date. We're just taking our breaks together."

"Aw how cute. Robbie's got himself a girlfriend," Beck poked fun.

"Dude, I don't even know much about her except her name!" I defended.

"It's cool, Rob. First dates are the icebreakers," he winked.

"This isn't a date!"

"Sure, whatever you want to call it, 'hang out'," he air quoted.

"Don't we have some activities to do or something?" I tried changing the subject.

"Like talk to Cat?" he laughed.

"Shut up," I blushed. I was never going to hear the end of this…

**~.~.~.~.~**

Beck had a therapy session with Doctor Vega at around 2:30 so I settled in the cafeteria earlier than when Cat wanted to meet. There really wasn't much to do without Beck. I would have visited Sinjin again, but with all of Beck's drama in the morning, that was enough depression I could handle. And Sikowitz was nowhere to be found. That old guy just flies around the 3rd floor and goes wherever he wants. I was in no mood to play hide and seek. This was good. I needed a quick breather. Though my personal time was cut short when an unexpected visitor stopped by.

"Paging Robbie Shapiro. You're needed at the looney bin!" a voice all too familiar hollered from behind me. Oh God. I hope it's not-

"Andre!" I shrieked in terror. "Tori!" Great. Two people I didn't want the most to know that I was here in the first place.

I guess I should let you in on my friends. I've put it off long enough. Andre Harris. My best friend. He's the all around golden boy. And Tori, the golden girl. The two have been together since freshman year of high school. They are the iconic couple. Think Danny and Sally, Troy and Gabriella, even Bender and Claire. They make every other couple wish they were them. As for me, I've been living in a shadow of Andre's greatness. He's not a show off, but life just comes so easy for a guy like him. He's good looking, charming, witty, an all around likeable person. On top of that, he's an athlete, a merit scholar, and is the best damn singer-songwriter I know. That's how he scored Tori. She's a beauty with a voice. I actually introduced the pair. Sort of. Tori and I met in freshmen algebra. I may have had a crush on her, but Andre beat me to it. Well, it doesn't matter anyways, he always gets what he wants. Just another thing I can't have. Andre's world is perfect, mine isn't. So you can imagine why I wouldn't want him to find me of all places at a psychiatric ward.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"Bro, what the hell are you doing here?" Andre laughed.

"Andre!" Tori slapped his arm.

"What, babe? It's a mental hospital. Man, I knew Robbie had issues, but I didn't think he was screwed up," Andre said.

"Issues?" I asked him.

"Yeah, issues, dawg."

"Andre's right, you're quiet sometimes," Tori added.

Now, Tori never poked fun at me, so I was a bit startled that she was on Andre's side. Then again, Andre's her boyfriend.

"Maybe I'm quiet for a reason," I defended.

"And that reason is?" Andre wondered.

"I don't know, you guys just won't understand," I scoffed.

"And that's exactly why we won't ever know what goes on in your sick twisted mind. You won't tell us anything. You're such a girl sometimes," Andre said.

"And what is that supposed to mean?!" Tori was appalled.

"I'm saying Robbie is too emotional. He's not tough. No wonder why he has insecurity issues. Man up, dude," Andre bragged.

"Andre don't be a jerk," his girlfriend answered.

"I'm not being a jerk, Tori. Stop standing up for him. That's why he's so weak, he makes girls defend him."

"You're an asshole," Tori spat.

As the two bickered, all the words I've ever wanted to say to Andre, all the weight from my shoulders were seconds away from collapsing. He just took it too far.

"You know what, Andre? Maybe I don't tell you stuff because you don't want to listen. Did you know I go to therapy? No, you didn't. Did you know where I was Sunday night? At the pier, about ready to kill myself."

"Robbie, why didn't you tell us?" Tori grew concerned.

"Because you guys refuse to take a step down from your perfect world to see what's going on with your friends."

Tori started to well up in tears. Andre was caught off guard.

"Dude, Robbie. Come on, I didn't know," Andre said.

"No you didn't. So give me a break for wanting to think of myself for once."

"Robbie, we're here for you," Tori tried to say.

"Are you really, Tor? Or are you just around when I'm like this?"

"Come on, Rob," Andre pleaded.

"You know what, just go. Both of you. I'll… bye," I turned my body away from them and after a moment, Tori and Andre walked off. God, so much drama in one day. I really needed a breather.

"Hey there."

I turned around and met with the one person who I was relieved to see.

"Hey Cat," I said.

"Someone looks like they need a pudding cup," she said tossing me a snack pack. "Those your friends? No wonder why you're so depressed," she joked.

I chuckled. I really shouldn't have laughed, but she did have a point.

"You saw that?"

"Only if you wanted me to." She sat next to me and we ate our pudding quietly for a minute.

"I know I don't have is as bad as a lot of patients here, but depression is generally the same. You're living in a shadow. You're sad. You feel worthless. And being Andre's friend, well… you saw."

Cat thought for a moment before speaking up.

"When I was sixteen, I was so in love with my boyfriend, Steven. We were going to go to college together and get married afterwards. The only thing he loved more than me was his little brother. But his brother was sick. Weak lungs, heart, kidney. His mom was desperate to help his brother, but they weren't that rich. So, Steven killed himself, and told the doctors his brother could have his organs. I mean, I know he loved me, but he loved his brother more. I just, I didn't figure out if he loved me enough to see what a toll he'd put in my life. He never even said goodbye. I guess, a broken heart counts for depression too."

Wow. I did not expect that.

"Cat, I'm…" I knew 'sorry' wouldn't help. So what was I supposed to do?

"Me too. I guess, that's why I want to volunteer here. Help people heal. Give them what I didn't have. Be there for them. Just listen."

"I'll listen."

"I know. That's why I'm telling you," she softly smiled.

"I think it's great you want to be there for others. I wish I had that in Andre, hell, even Tori."

"Well, now you have me," she patted my hand.

"Thanks." And for the first time that day, I felt at peace.

"Okay, enough of the sappy stuff. When does Beck get out of therapy?"

"Not 'til 4:30."

"Well, you want to help me volunteer upstairs?" she offered.

"I thought the psych ward was only on this floor?"

"It is. The fourth floor is the children's center. Kids who need more medical attention. Like Steven's brother," she replied solemnly.

I understood. Damn, is there anything this woman doesn't do? She's a freaking angel.

"I'd love to help out," I smiled.

"So how long have you known Andre?" she asked as we walked down the hallway to the elevator.

"My whole life practically. We've been best friends since second grade. All my insecurities pretty much go way back. It's not just recent."

"Oh yeah? What else are you concerned about?" she was genuinely invested in this conversation. Something about the way she would pause before answering or asking the next question assured me Cat actually cared about what I was saying.

"For one thing there's my parents. Well, to be more specific – my dad."

"I should've seen that coming," Cat giggled.

"Yeah well it's the typical 'my old man wants me to be something I'm not' thing going on."

"Sounds like something we can all relate to."

"But you don't know my dad. He is really good at getting what he wants. It's all about compromise to him. But in reality, it's slowly convincing you to go his way. And up until now, he's paved my life. My future is whatever he's making me compromise next."

"Do you want that though?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Everyone has a choice."

"I guess. But with my dad, everything is just easier if you agree with him. Otherwise he'll go on and on about how you're not making the most of your talents and all that."

"Do you want that?"

"Not really."

"What do you want then?"

"I don't really know," I admitted. I spent my whole life focusing on what I didn't want to do rather than what I wanted to do. "But I know it's not in sales."

"Maybe you should tell your dad that. What's there to lose?" she said.

"Did your parents give you a hard time too?" I wondered.

"Not really. I mean especially since Steven really took a toll on me, what else could they possibly do to affect me, you know?"

"So that's a good thing, right?" I asked her.

"I guess. Then again, I know they were giving me space, but that didn't mean I still wanted them to care."

"Well if it helps, I care," I gave her an encouraging smile. She looked back at me and returned it.

"And if it helps, I'd never force you to say or do anything you didn't want," she said in reply.

"I know," I nodded happily.

"I don't know why you hangout with people who bring you down, Robbie. You're a really sweet guy," Cat said out of the blue as we rode the elevator to the floor above.

"You're not so bad yourself, Cat," I told her.

And for the first time, I made a girl blush. It was the cutest thing.

"Okay enough of the sappiness, let's go," she giggled when the elevator dinged.

That was the thing about talking to Cat. When I'm with her, all the crap from my life disappeared.


	5. Chapter 5

My days were limited with the residents at Westwood, today being my second to last. As a visitor at least. Not that I changed my mind about being admitted here – I still want to. It's just I know my therapist. Even if we made that deal on Sunday, Dr. Vega would still convince me otherwise not to want to stay here. At least for a while. I just can't explain why I feel so comfortable here. Maybe it's because of Beck, someone I can relate to. Or maybe because I can somehow relate to everyone here because we all have our stories. And I'll admit, a little has to do with Cat. Okay maybe a lot. What, I'm a guy. And Beck said it himself, I'm hormonal. I'm really troubled about many things in my life, but when I'm around her I forget my worries for a moment. Even if it's still a moment. I know they're still there, but they aren't screaming in my ears. If only Dr. Vega understood that. But I'd worry about that later. For now, I wanted to enjoy the last days of my volunteer time at the 3rd floor.

"Hey Robbie," my favorite person at Westwood greeted me.

"Morning, Cat," I smiled like an idiot. Good thing Beck wasn't there to poke fun at me with his stupid smirk and obvious winks. He was one of those friends that 'accidentally on purpose' tried to embarrass you in front of the pretty girl. But unlike Andre, he did it in all goodness, not pure torture.

"You busy today?" she asked. We walked down the east wing towards the receptionist desk near the elevators to grab our volunteer badges.

"Not really. I've got some things to do for Dr. Vega before I leave at 6, but other than that I'm probably just going to hangout with Beck. What about you?"

"The usual; 3rd floor in the morning, kids in the afternoon. If you're not busy after your lunch break maybe you could join me during reading time with the little monsters. You were a hit with them yesterday. I'm sure they'll love to see you again."

"Well I can't say no to my fans," I joked. "Sure, that'd be great. I'll swing by after I go to Dr. Vega."

"Great!" she smiled. Man her smile was contagious.

"How about lunch too?" I suggested. If she was going to ask me to do something, I wanted to ask too for once.

"Yeah, I'd like that," she replied.

"Morning boy and girl," Beck interrupted. Talk about cock block.

"Hey Beck. Have fun guys," Cat waved before walking off. "See you soon, Robbie!"

"See you soon, Robbie," Beck mimicked in an unconvincing feminine voice.

"Shut up, it's not what you think," I quickly defended.

"I didn't even ask and you're already defensive," Beck laughed. "Need I even ask what you two love birds have planned for your date today?"

"It's not a date," I muttered. I could feel the blush creeping on my cheeks but fought every nerve to let my cheeks turn even a tint of pink.

"When are you going to admit that you like her? Everyone knows," Beck punched my arm. "What's there to lose?"

I wanted to tell him I had everything to lose. When was the last time I went out with a girl? The last girl I ever had feelings for was for Tori, and I obviously didn't do anything about it since my best friend called dibs. I wasn't in the right mind or confidence level to have a girlfriend, let alone go on a date with a girl.

"So, what are we doing today? Sikowitz around? Sinjin?"

"Nope, even better. We're going to have fun," Beck replied.

"What do you mean?"

In the three days I got to know Beck, I realized you had to expect the unexpected, and just don't question his decisions. He was fearless and it was so amazing how he got away with things. I followed him down the south wing to the supply closet and he yanked me inside before I got to protest.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"Here," he said and handed me something from the shelf. "Put these over your clothes."

They were scrubs. "What, why?"

"No more questions. Now do you want to have fun or eat hair pudding?"

I obliged and put the green suit over my jeans and shirt, no more questions asked. After he put his scrubs on, her found a blanket and ordered me to wrap it over my head to hide my face. As if it didn't get any weirder, he just happened to find a wheelchair nearby and told me to sit in it and not talk until he said so.

"I'm guessing you've done this plenty of times, whatever this is," I told him before we got out of the supply closet."

"Yeah, and for a good reason. No shut up, Cool Rob. Before you blow our cover!"

I don't know if this prank of his actually worked, or if the staff knew him enough that he did this so much and they simply let it slide, but no one suspected a thing while Beck wheeled me across the hall to the nearby staircase. No one stopped him or even said hi, they all just went about their days. Beck was a genius.

We reached the staircase and he told me to follow him all the way up to the sixth floor. We opened the double doors and found ourselves in a gymnasium. It was so random. Beck sat at a nearby bench to take his scrubs off so I followed suit.

"Tell me why we just did that weird thing downstairs?" I asked. "Come on, you wrapped me in a blanket and put me in a wheelchair. Don't I deserve and explanation for that?" I smirked.

"We're not allowed to leave the 3rd floor. Maybe you can, but you would have never found this basketball court in this building without me, Robbie," he explained.

"Good point."

"Besides, I only take cool people with me here."

"Well thanks, I'm honored," I joked.

"Alright, Cool Rob. Let's see your hoop skills."

He passed me a basketball and for the next hour we shot some hoops. It was an intense one-on-one game that built my adrenaline up. It was actually fun. And I could tell Beck was having fun too. After an intense game of 21, we sat near the free throw line to catch our breaths.

"You're right man, this was fun," I said breathlessly.

"Yeah, well as fun as it is downstairs, sometimes I need a little break even from my break," Beck joked.

"Hey Beck," I asked. I just couldn't help my self.

"What's up, Cool Rob?"

"Why, of all places, would you want to vacation here?"

"You're really persistent on finding that out, huh?" He said as he laid back and used the basketball as a pillow beneath his head.

I shrugged at him and weakly smiled. It's not that I was curious, after knowing him this long I was genuinely concerned. And a part of me felt like he wanted to tell someone. Maybe that someone could be me.

"Alright, cool Rob, I'll tell you. But only because I like you," he sat up and got comfortable. "I don't know how much Jade told you about me but I wasn't always like this. I was in love with my high school sweetheart and we planned a future together. Then right out of high school I became a father. A couple years later a husband. Everything was happening so fast. Not that I didn't like being married or having a daughter, I just didn't think I'd have all that at 20 years old. I guess a part of me wanted to slow down, be the young and reckless adult but also a husband and father. Except Jade said I couldn't do both. I had to choose. So I chose the latter. Obviously I wasn't happy, but not because I didn't love her or Lily, I just… I was constrained. I felt trapped. So I grew depressed. And selfish. Jade noticed. I started distancing myself from my family because I wanted to be alone, and eventually I felt comfortable that way. Then one day Jade and I fought. It was about me not being the dominant person in the family. It got in my head so far that I almost killed myself right in front of her. That's when she called Westwood; Dr. Vega."

"You were my doctor's patient?"

"Jade and Trina went to high school together. She remembered Trina wanting to go into psychology. They ran into each other a few years later and stayed in touch. She called in a favor for me to spend some time alone here for a while and although my 'condition' isn't as bad as some others here, I'm just as broken."

"Just like-"

"You," he finished. "I don't come here for vacation per se. But I do come here when Jade thinks I'm slipping into depression again. I'm not getting away from my wife, I'm figuring out what I'm doing wrong."

"Maybe," I said, "you shouldn't try to focus on what's wrong."

"What do you mean?" Beck asked.

"Well, you know what's wrong. You're living it. Maybe you should be here to focus on figuring out how to make it right again."

"Maybe," Beck pondered my thought.

So I was right all along. Beck was someone I could relate to the most. He was me. I was him. I didn't know if I was happy or sad about that, but it did feel somewhat comforting knowing he really did understand my situation.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Beck and I headed back down to the third floor in time for him to have a session with Dr. Vega, and I bummed around in the game room before mine and Cat's lunch date. I was having a pretty good morning, what with Beck finally opening up to me and he and I relating to one another in a whole other level. Now in just 20 minutes I'd be having lunch with the prettiest girl alive. Nothing could ruin today.

"Hey Robbie," someone called behind me.

I looked away from the magazine I was reading and came face to face with someone I wasn't expecting at all.

"Tori?" I said and got up to greet her. "What are you doing here? Is uh, is Andre with you?"

"No, I'm here alone," she said. "I came here to apologize… for yesterday."

I gestured for her to sit on the couch with me across from us so we could talk some more.

"It's okay, Tor. Not your fault."

"I feel like it is," she fiddled with her bracelets, not wanting to make eye contact with me. "I know Andre can be a jerk sometimes."

"Sometimes?" I scoffed.

"Okay, he can be a little self-centered," she admitted. "But that's Andre. That's how he is. Like you. That's how you are, being quiet and all. And if no one calls you out on it or if you don't do anything about it, can anyone really complain?"

"So you're saying I'm being a priss?"

"I didn't say that," she retorted. "What I'm saying is that Andre knows he's Mr. Cool Guy. You never told us you were having problems."

"Andre's not the only cool guy you know," I said. I smiled to myself, knowing that Beck deemed me 'Cool Rob'. At least someone thought I was cool.

"I know," Tori said. "But after finding out about you yesterday, I just wanted to make sure that you're ok. And just know that I'm here for you," she scooted closer to me and placed her hand on my knee. I looked up at her nervously. Tori always hugged me and that was usually all the body contact we ever made. This was the first time she's ever touched me in what seemed like more than just our friend zone. I've had a crush on this woman my entire adolescent life, and she chose now to do this – when I'm in such a complicated mess.

"Um, thank Tori," I said, still keeping an eye on her idle hand on my knee.

"You know, I think that it's really brave of you to admit you have problems," she said in a much lower voice than usual.

"Y-yeah?" I stuttered.

"I don't show it, but I'm stressed out too. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, you know, being perfect and all. I wish I were as brave as you. But I don't think anyone would understand me," she said, this time sensually rubbing my leg.

"I understand," I told her.

"I know you do, Rob," she lifted my chin up so that our eyes met. Inching closer and closer to my face, she closer her eyes and whispered against my lips, "You've always been there for me. And last night, Andre and I fought so hard."

"About what?"

"Our relationship. We've been together for so long, why are we fighting still?"

"Because you still have to get to know each other."

"You know me, right?"

"Yeah, but not like Andre does."

"What does Andre really know about me?"

Before I could respond, her warm breath was followed by her soft lips pressed against mine, me closing my eyes wondering if this was a dream or real life.

When I opened my eyes, she had broken the kiss and we met face to face with slight smiles. It wasn't a dream. It was real.

Unfortunately, from the corner of my eyes, someone was standing a couple feet from the door of the game room in the hallway and had witnessed mine and Tori's kiss. Suddenly, I wish this moment were a dream, or rather a nightmare, because I think I just messed this up. Cat and I met for about two seconds of eye contact before she walked off and away from my sight. Then my glazed expression turned sour.

"What's the matter? I thought you wanted this?" Tori asked me.

"What?" I was surprised by that response.

"Robbie, I've known you had a crush on me for years. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Maybe. I thought I did, but now I don't think I do."

"I was just trying to comfort you," she said.

"By messing with my feelings?"

"No, by giving you what you want. And besides, you said it yourself; Andre can be a jerk sometimes. Why would I want to be with him?"

"Because you love him," I blurted. Saying this, something snapped inside of Tori and she came to her senses.

"Oh my God, what am I doing?" she placed her hands on her head.

"No, Tori. It's not your fault. We got caught up in the moment."

"I'm so sorry, Robbie. Andre's your best friend and he's my boyfriend. And you're in a complicated mess right now. I didn't know what happened."

"Tori, it's okay. You were vulnerable. I was vulnerable. I'm not mad at you. But you have to go now and I have to do something. Thanks for coming by, but… I have to go."

Without waiting for her, I ran out of the room desperately running down the corridor to find Cat.

Finally, after scouring through the entire 3rd floor, we crossed paths near the cafeteria.

"Cat!" I hollered. She froze in her tracks and turned around, waiting for me to catch up to her.

"H-hi Robbie," she said.

"Where have you been? I was looking all over for you."

"Oh you were?" she played off coolly.

"Yeah… I thought we were having lunch together?"

"Um.. Well, I just thought… you had other plans," she said.

"Oh… um.. about that." I didn't really know what to say.

"It's okay, Robbie. I understand," she gave a sheepish smile.

"Well, it's still lunch time. Why don't we grab a quick snack or something?"

"Um, I'm not really hungry. Ate a big breakfast."

"Oh, well, do you still want me to help you out later with the kids?" for some reason I wasn't convinced.

"Uh yeah if you still want. Just go up there whenever, don't have to wait for me. The kids still want to see you," she said. With that, she walked off.

I didn't know what to take out of that quick encounter with her. Was she mad? Why was I worried if she was mad? Did she see Tori and me kiss? Why didn't I like the kiss? What was going on?

Walking down the opposite way Cat went, I ran into the one person I seriously needed to talk to right now.

"Hey cool Rob! How was your lunch date?" Beck swung his arm around my neck and walked around with me.

"It's not a date," I told him again.

"Whatever you say," he smirked.

"Anyways it doesn't matter, we didn't eat lunch together."

"What do you mean?" he stopped walking and faced me.

"I got in kind of a sticky situation earlier," I kicked at my feet.

"You gotta give me more than that, kid," Beck chuckled.

"Cat kind of saw me make out with my best friend's girlfriend right before our lunch date."

"Ah, so it was a date!"

"Beck," I grunted.

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. "Wow kid. Two girls? You really are cool."

"There are no two girls. Tori came by here to apologize for her and Andre being rude yesterday and we got caught up in the moment and she kissed me. Cat saw and I tried to explain to her that it was nothing."

"Was it nothing?" Beck asked.

"Of course it was nothing! She's my best friend's girl. Okay, maybe I had a crush on her but that's the difference between a crush and liking someone. Tori was just the idea of perfect. I know Cat; she's not perfect. But being imperfect is what makes her awesome. She's… perfectly imperfect and that's why I like her."

"And the truth comes out!" Beck grinned, raising his arms in the air like someone scored a field goal.

"Come on, Beck. I'm in serious need of advice," I told him. I was becoming impatient with his antics at the moment, though he was relieving some tension I had to admit.

"What do you need my advice for, Rob? You know what to do," he patted my back and once again swung his arm around my neck and the two of us continued to walk down the hallway.

"Do I?"

"Of course! You're the smartest kid I know. So you know the right thing to do is fix it. Unless you want to end up a loser like me, go for what makes you happy. Like you said, don't figure out what you did wrong, figure out how to fix it."

"Okay first of all, you're not a loser. And second, you using my own advice against me is that psychology crap Dr. Vega does to me," I chuckled.

"And you know she's the best doctor in her practice, so this is great advice," he pointed out.

"Right. And that brings me to back to my first point. You need something to live for, and that's your wife and kid. So you can't be a loser. You're more than that."

"Thanks, kid. But it's easier said than done."

"But what makes you think she might have the same feelings for me?"

"Because if she didn't, she would've had lunch with you."

"I guess."

"I may not have the best relationship with my wife right now, but knowing Jade for fourteen years, trust me when I say that Cat might possibly like you back."

I thought about what Beck said. I won't deny the possibility Cat may have reciprocated some feelings. But was that enough?

"That being said," Beck broke me from my thoughts, "go find her."

I knew exactly where to find her. So I said goodbye to Beck and headed to the fourth floor. It took me a while to actually get to Cat. Not because she was hiding from me again, but because she was right about the kids being excited to see me. The second I stepped foot in the fourth floor lobby, a dozen kids at the arts and crafts room spotted me and hollered for me to come in and play with them. So I did for a while. Luckily, I did spot Cat when she walked by with a few kids wanting to take a walk around the building. For a moment I wanted to get up and talk to her, but these kids really wanted me to paint with them. We shared curt nods and subtle smiles, but that wasn't enough for me to be convinced we were ok.

**~.~.~.~.~**

After almost two hours of painting and drawing with many of the kids, I decided it was time to leave and find Cat, right before promising to see them again before I leave tomorrow. I had searched every recreation room for her but she was nowhere to be found. Almost giving up, I happened to pass by a child's room when I recognized her voice. Peering in a bit, I saw Cat with a little girl on her lap, reading a book to her. It was the _Velveteen Rabbit_.

_"'What is REAL?' asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. 'Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?'," _Cat read to the little girl. _"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real'. 'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit._ _'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'" _

"Cat?" the little girl paused her from reading.

"Yes, Daisy?" Cat asked, while caressing the child's hair.

"Is that true? That people don't mind being hurt?"

"It's not that they want to be hurt, but being hurt only means you're human," Cat explained.

"So why are you hurt?" she asked.

Cat was confused for a minute. But she's known this little girl for a long time and had figured Daisy knew her just as well.

"And what makes you think something's wrong with me, huh?" she tickled the girl.

"Hehe," she said in response to the tickle. Then she straightened out. "Because, when you care about someone, you can feel what they feel."

"Aww," Cat hugged Daisy. "No need to feel this pain, sweetheart. Just another boy that messed with my feelings," she told her.

Daisy gave Cat a tight embrace and rested against Cat's arm. "Can you read the rest of the story?"

"Of course," she smiled and the two continued the story.

I stood outside and heard the entire thing. After hearing Cat's confession, I just couldn't risk having her see me so I sulked away.

Before going back down to the third floor, a little boy stopped me.

"Hi Mr. Robbie," the kid weakly said.

"Derick, hey buddy," I knelt to the kid's level. "What's up?"

"Did you already read during story time? I missed today's free time because of my chemo," the little boy said.

I remember meeting this boy yesterday. He had it a bit worse than the others - leukemia. And he was in the hospital for chemotherapy. The boy was barely 7 years old and I thought he was the bravest person in the world. Something about him made me rethink a lot of things in my life.

"Well Derick, today is your lucky day because I am going to read you a book before you take your nap. Come on," I gave the little boy a piggyback ride to the reading room. After reading _The Little Engine That Could _to Derick, I noticed that the boy grew weary. So I grabbed a nearby blanket and covered him up.

"Robbie?" Derick said half asleep.

"Yeah buddy, what's up?"

"Do you think if I keep thinking I'll beat this sickness, it will happen?" he asked.

I thought for a moment. I didn't know what to say. My grandpa fought cancer but even he couldn't beat it. But then again, no one thought he'd live an extra 15 years but him. He always thought positive.

"I think… so long as you have hope, anything can happen. Just like in the story." It was a genuine answer that I somewhat believed, though even I was torn. And I guess I made it visible because the kid noticed.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I think so," I told him.

"Well whatever it is that's bothering you, Robbie. I have hope it'll all get better."

"Yeah?" I asked him.

"Yeah. You're a good guy. You deserve to be happy."

"And you're a good kid. You deserve a good life."

"Thanks," he smiled and closed his eyes to take the rest of his nap.

I don't know what it was about Derick's words, but it did give me some clarity. I messed things up with Cat even before I had a chance to even have a thing with her, but there was always hope for tomorrow. My last chance to make things right. So I was going to leave it at that… at least I thought so.

"Hey, what are you still doing here?" someone said at the door.

"Cat?" I was surprised to see her. After what had happened since lunch, didn't think she'd be the one finding me. "Hey, uh. Well this little guy wanted me to read to him so I couldn't say no. He's a good kid."

"Yeah they all are," she smiled contently.

"Is your shift over?" I asked.

"Just about. You?"

"Yeah, I was going to head to my car now. Headed that way?"

"Mhm. Let's go," she said.

For some reason Cat seemed to be in a different mood. Well, let me clarify. She was her usual happy self, but something was off. It was like a few hours ago she didn't even want to talk to me, now it was like that thing with Tori never even happened. Then it hit me. She was forgetting it happened. Or… maybe Beck was wrong. Maybe she only saw me as a friend.

We made it to the parking lot and I walked her to her car.

"Listen, I just wanted to say sorry about lunch again."

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I cancelled on you," she sheepishly chuckled.

"Maybe we can hangout for a bit tomorrow? You know, before I leave."

"Oh that's right. It's your last day," she remembered. "Well hopefully we keep in touch. You know, in case you ever need a friend."

Crap. The F word. _Friend_.

"Yeah, of course," I said unconvincingly. I didn't want to be her friend. I wanted to be more than that. And a part of me just felt in my gut that she felt it too. So I did something really impulsive.

"Well goodni-"

Before she could even finish, I stepped forward, grabbed her shoulders like those guys did in the movies, and roughly kissed her. The fact that she didn't protest was probably a good thing; then again, it might have just been her shock.

"Wh-what… what are you doing?" she said breathlessly.

"I'm sorry. I just-" I started, but couldn't finish.

"Why'd you kiss me?" she asked calmly. I didn't sense any anger from her, so my gut was screaming to make a bold move.

"Uh…" I said.

I thought for a moment, listened to what Beck, Derick, and especially what Daisy had said today. And I found clarity.

"Because… when you care about someone, you can feel what they feel too. And at least I think you feel this too…" With that, I walked off. Leaving Cat to her thoughts, and me to really wonder if what I did was insane or in fact a bold move.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Shout out to one of my friends and dedicated readers. Happy Birthday, AyItsJay!**

* * *

><p>I tossed and turned all night thinking about everything that had happened in the past 5 days - in the past 24 hours. I'm not even sure I slept at all. See, it wasn't because of just one person or one thing. It was about everything. All at once. Dr. Vega. Beck. Sikowitz. Sinjin. Cat especially. And then there was me. I didn't expect to feel this way by the end of the week. For the first time, I was having second thoughts about Dr. Vega's offer. Then again, is this what she was hoping? If Beck could find solace in a place like Westwood, could I too have a place there?<p>

I just couldn't find the clarity to think about what I wanted because so many other things, so many other people came to mind first. And I couldn't rest until I put those voices to sleep. So I got up, checked my bedside clock – 2:43 AM – and decided to head to the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee. I had a long night ahead of me and I didn't want to waste a single second.

"Robbie? Honey wake up."

"Mrmmgh…"

"Robbie. You need to get up. Isn't Dr. Vega expecting you at the hospital soon?"

Grudgingly, I lifted what felt like the weight of the world on my neck and opened my eyes to see my mom in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"A little past 7. Did you stay up all night?"

"I think so," I said, not really sure when and how I crashed. I was sitting at the dining table, my upper body resting on the table over what seemed to be a notebook and my laptop.

"What were you doing that kept you up all night?" my mom asked.

"Just stuff," I said as I gathered my things so my dad could have a place to sit and eat his breakfast.

"Well alright, if you need anything sweetie just ask." She kissed the top of my head and went to the pantry to gather some ingredients for pancakes, my dad's favorite.

After I gathered my things, I noticed my dad's keys were lying idly on the side table next to the garage door. I thought back to the time Cat and I were talking about family. Maybe she was right. Dad could be aggressive, but everyone has a choice. And I came to a conclusion about my future.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, hun?" she whipped around with a metal bowl mixing the ingredients for pancakes.

"I uh, I do have something to ask."

"Sure sweetie. What's on your mind?"

"How uh… how mad do you think dad would be if I told him I didn't want to follow in his footsteps?"

"What do you mean?" my mom was confused. It wasn't that she was oblivious to all of this, but my dad never had to make mom compromise so to speak. In fact, she was probably the only person to change his mind about anything, and it was worth a shot to ask her to be on my side.

"I mean… I don't want to be a car salesman like dad. That's not me."

"Then why did you agree to it, honey?" she wondered.

"Because that's what dad wants," I shrugged.

"Sweetie," she began to put the mix down. "That may be what he wants, but if you don't want it, no one is going to stop. Not even your father."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. And if he did try, I'd give him a piece of my mind," mom smirked.

"That's too easy though. Just telling him no."

"You'll never know if you don't try," she said.

Good point.

"Is that why you've been stressed lately? Because you don't want to work at Audi?"

"A good part of it, yeah," I admitted.

"Well Robbie, you're dad may be tough to negotiate with, but don't rule that out. I mean sure he'll get a bit upset, but not because he's disappointed. He'll never be disappointed in you."

I thought about what my mom said. She was right. She was always right. And this time I believed her. I'm pretty sure my dad would get upset, but he'd get over it eventually. So what if I wasn't his protégé, I was his son, and later that evening he'd tell me that was enough to make him proud.

Before I left, I told my mom about what I've been doing all week. About Sunday night – she cried of course. Then about Dr Vega's offer. She supported me 100% if I still wanted to be admitted there and promised to help me should it come to telling my father about my wants. For now my time at Westwood and my future were a secret between my mother and I. I also told her about the people I met – Beck, Cat, Sikowitz, Sinjin, the kids in the fourth floor – and she was just as interested in them as I was. One last time she offered her help if I needed it and I was about to say no… until it hit me that there was one thing she could do for me that would help a great deal.

"Okay sweetie, I'll call you around 5 then. I don't know if I'll have a car by then to go to you since my Volvo's at the shop, but I'll find a way."

"Thanks mom, I owe you one," I said before walking out the door.

"Have a nice day, sweetheart. I love you!"

"Love you too!" And I really did love my mom. She cared too much, but she cared when it counted, and I couldn't complain.

I stayed up all night writing things down, keeping them in a journal. I wrote about this week. I wrote about what I felt, who I met, what I learned. I wrote about what I wanted, what I didn't want, and from there, I went from one thing to another and well… just wait and see.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Today was going to be different. Not just because it was my final day as a volunteer at Westwood, but also because I felt different. Walking in and riding up the elevator to the third floor, my only goal for the day was to make things right. With everyone. And that started with-

"Dr. Vega!" I said once the elevator dinged and opened to the third floor.

"Hi Robbie, last day today," she smiled warmly.

"We'll see about that," I coyly smiled. She returned the gesture, knowing what I meant by it, yet she wasn't fazed. Had she finally accepted me wanting to check in as a patient here? Though I couldn't dwell on that thought just yet. I had things to do before the end of the day.

"So how was your week here?" she asked me.

"Well I didn't expect anything really," I told her.

"No?" she said.

"No, but I think that's a good thing. Going in with no expectations."

"That's a good way to look at things."

"Yeah. But I did figure stuff out."

"Oh? Like what?"

"I think we should talk in your office," I smiled. She didn't know where I was going with this conversation, though being the awesome doctor she was, she trusted me and we went to her office to talk about things.

About an hour later, we stepped outside of her office. Just in time for Beck to come from breakfast to find me at the receptionist desk.

"So I'll see you when you guys get back. I'll have everything figured out by then. There's nothing to worry about."

"Thanks, Dr. Vega. I owe you one."

"No, Robbie. This is more than enough," she smiled and walked off.

"Hey Cool Rob," Beck patted my shoulder. "Everything ok?"

"Everything's groovy," I tried to be cool but failed miserably.

"Groovy?" Beck chuckled. "All right. Everything's groovy. I can dig it."

"Yeah, hey Beck, are you busy today?"

"Me? Busy? Robbie seriously, have you met me?" he laughed. "Besides, it's your last day. I wouldn't miss hanging out with you for anything."

"Great because we have a lot of work to do," I beamed with excitement.

"Work?" he asked quizzically.

"Yeah, work," I repeated. "Last night I couldn't sleep. And for some reason I just had to do something."

"Like?"

"I don't know. That's the thing. I stayed up all night thinking about the rest of that sentence. And I figured it out."

"Cool Rob, get to your point," Beck was confused, therefore getting impatient.

"I need to make things right."

"With Cat?"

"With everyone."

"Everyone? How many hearts did you break yesterday?" Beck joked.

"I'm serious, man!" I tried convincing him. "I've got some unfinished business to attend to and I sure would like your help."

"Of course, kid. I'm your partner in crime. Want me to get the scrubs?"

"No, that won't be necessary," I chuckled. "We've got somewhere else to go."

"Um, Robbie. Need I remind you that I'm a patient here? I can't leave," Beck chuckled.

"It's okay. I worked it out. Dr. Vega's going with us, she just has to do something and we're leaving in about 20 minutes."

"Great. Where are we going?" Beck was excited for our day trip.

"To Sikowitz."

"You do know that his room is just down the hall right?" Beck said bluntly. "Man, so much for road trip. Thanks for getting my hopes up, Cool Rob!" Beck faked being hurt.

"No," I explained. "Sikowitz is coming with us."

"So we're going fishing?" Sikowitz asked while the four of us – Dr. Vega in the driver's seat, me in the front seat, Beck and Sikowitz in the back seat – drove to the destination.

"Something like that. We're going on a trip," I told him.

"I hope there are coconuts and pineapples there. I'm making a smoothie later and pina colada sounds refreshing," he rambled.

"We could pick some up later if you want?" I suggested.

"Oh can we? I love coconut milk," he said.

"Duly noted," Beck chuckled.

"So Sikowitz, where's your family from?" I tried to carry a conversation during the drive.

"I'm originally from Ohio."

"Why'd you move here?" Beck wondered.

"We moved here after I got a promotion in Santa Monica."

"We?" I asked.

"Your family came with you?" Beck asked.

"No, they're still in Ohio."

"Then, who's 'we'? Oh, you mean your wife?" Beck figured out.

Silence filled the car for a mere 10 seconds before Sikowitz decided to speak.

"You know what would go great with a pina colada smoothie? Tacos!" he blurted, obviously changing the subject.

"How'd you meet your wife, Sikowitz?" Beck asked.

"Have you children ever gone to Catalina? I hear it's just lovely there," he smiled while staring out the window. This time, I was very interested in why he kept changing the subject.

"Why do you ignore questions regarding your wife?" Beck said. He wasn't being rude. I told Beck what we were doing. He was just trying to prepare the old man.

"What do you mean?"

"Sikowitz, we know that-"

"Beck. We're here," I interrupted him before we got the old man riled up. Dr. Vega parked the car and we stepped out. I opened Sikowitz's door and let the man slowly make his way out of the car. I had a feeling he knew where we were.

We were at a cemetery just outside of Venice. This was where his wife was buried.

"Where are we?" he asked. Though I know he knew.

"We're here to see Mindy," I told him.

"Mindy?"

"Your wife," Beck answered him.

"My wife?" he kept this naïve act up for a bit longer.

I guided him a few more steps to the grave closest to us. Beck and Dr. Vega stayed at the car, a mere 10 feet away, so in case he did something or needed help, they were still close by. He was admiring the green pasture and the nicely planted flowers atop other graves, not having a care in the world. That is until I stopped us in our tracks. He looked at me, wondering why we stopped walking, and then I gestured for him to look down.

When Sikowitz's eyes met the tombstone in front of us, something snapped, and he became a whole other person. He became… human. His smile erased and was replaced with quivering lips. His broad shoulders were caving in and he lowered himself, on his knees meeting the height of the stone to read the epitaph. It was as if the Sikowitz that Beck and Dr. Vega knew all these years had suddenly become someone they never met. A single tear fell from his eye, followed by more tears. Soon, he silently wept in front of her grave.

At the car, Beck and Dr. Vega exchanged curt nods at one another. They were happy that Sikowitz broke down his walls and allowed himself to be vulnerable. I was glad too. It wasn't the best feeling, but I had a feeling he really wanted to let out his demons.

"Robbie?" he said out of the blue.

"Yes, Sikowitz?" I asked him.

"Thank you," he softly spoke.

"So, how did she pass away?" I asked him.

"Sky diving accident. Parachute got stuck," he told me in the calmest way. Man, for a guy who lost the love of his life that way, he sure was ok with it.

"Aw man. I'm sorry, Sikowitz."

"There's nothing to feel sorry for, my boy. Mindy always lived life to the fullest. Take each day one adventure of a time. That's why I married her," he smiled to himself.

So that explained why he thought that way. Living every day like a new day.

"She seems like an awesome girl."

"I haven't gone to seen her since after she passed. I think I needed this. I needed to see her again. Thank you, Robbie," he said before capturing me for a bear hug.

"Anytime, Sikowitz," I patted his back.

On our way back to the car he spoke up.

"Mindy and I never had kids. But if we did, I wish they were as great as you," he said.

"Th-thanks," I almost choked up. "I'll tell you, what old man. I'll visit you as often as I can."

"Wonderful!" He said. I turned to Beck, who smiled at me, and then at Dr. Vega, who did the same. They were proud. I knew it. But the day wasn't over yet.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Before we headed back to the hospital, we in fact made a stop to the market to pick up some fruit… and ice cream. Once we reached Westwood, I asked Sikowitz and Beck if they wanted to go to the fourth floor with me to help out in the children's center. Dr. Vega allowed for them to go with me unsupervised, knowing that Cat was up there too and she trusted us. When we got there, the first person I saw was Cat.

"Hey there," I greeted.

"Robbie, hi," she smiled, seemingly surprised to see me. I couldn't make out the context of her hello, due to the fact that I was focused on my next thing, and partly because I was with other people, but I was going to reserve some time later to talk to her about it. For now, I focused on why I was there.

"So, I brought over some volunteers with the kids today," I gestured at Beck and Sikowitz. "And don't worry," I said like I was reading her mind, " Dr. Vega is letting them help so long as you and I supervise."

"Well alright, the more help the better," Cat said cheerfully. "What do you fellas have in these bags anyhow?"

"Oh just something every kid likes," Beck smirked. "Ice cream."

"I brought coconuts too," Sikowitz returned to his free-spirited self. This time, he was a bit saner. And I thought being around kids would make him feel better.

"Thanks for the coconuts, Sikowitz," Cat giggled. "But what's up with the ice cream?" she asked.

"Well I figured, it's Friday. Beck said it, everyone likes ice cream. So why not have an impromptu ice cream party. It's whimsical. Kids love it," I told her.

"Oh I know they'll love this," she said and grabbed a back from Sikowitz, leading us to the cafeteria.

The kids were indeed ecstatic for the ice cream party. Many of the nurses, even Cat, told us that they hadn't seen the kids this excited in such a long time. Sikowitz himself was having a blast with the children, enjoying coconut-flavored ice cream and coloring with the younger kids at another table. Cat walked up to me and Beck near the end of the ice cream party.

"I don't know why you guys decided to bring ice cream, but thanks. These kids will never forget today," she smiled.

"Hey, all the credit goes to Cool Rob over here. He's been playing saint all day," Beck joked. He then winked at me, almost making me mentally punch him in the face for making it awkward, then walked off to play with some of the kids.

"What did Beck mean?" Cat asked when it was just us. To be honest, I planned out this entire day, except with my encounter with Cat. I didn't know how to approach her so I had hoped by the end of today I'd come up with something. At least we weren't completely alone, even though we were having a somewhat private conversation.

"Oh you know, because I had the idea to do this, that's all," I tried to dismiss it.

"Okay, fine. Don't tell me what you're up to," she coyly winked. One of the nurses called for her to prepare for the next agenda for the kids that day, giving us the cue to probably go back down to our floor. We said our goodbyes and I headed to gather Sikowitz and Beck.

"Hey Rob?" Cat called before we went our separate ways.

"Yeah?" I asked her.

"Let's talk later? Maybe dinner since lunch is over, and I owe you for skipping out yesterday."

"Of course. And you should definitely head down to the third floor around 5."

"Why?" she asked.

"I don't know," I playfully shrugged. "You'll just have to wait and see!"

**~.~.~.~.~**

I wasn't lying when I told her there was something going on later. But that was one of the last things on my list. Next, there was someone else I wanted to help. The ice cream party ended just in time for my next surprise as we made our way back to the third floor. Sikowitz, being the old man he was, went to his room to take a nap. It was a quarter past 3 and Dr. Vega called me telling me I was good to go. So I asked Beck if we could drop by his room for a second. Once inside, I found the next guy I was looking for.

"Hey Sinjin," I greeted as if we always said hi to one another.

"Cool Rob, what are we doing?" Beck asked. "Try to get Sinjin out of the room? Because it's going to take more than you and I to get him out."

"It's like you read my mind, Beck," I smiled at him. Beck didn't understand what I meant, but I asked him to trust me in the beginning of the day before we took Sikowitz to his wife. I told him things bit by bit so he too would be surprised. Before trying to talk to Sinjin again, I told Beck to go outside and find Dr. Vega. I wanted to try to talk to this guy by myself.

"So Sinjin, why don't we go out to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat," I suggested. Obviously he wouldn't budge. "I hear the food's pretty good. At least today it will be," I said.

Still, he wouldn't move or talk to me. But I still wanted to try. I got up and walked over to the other side of his bed, leaning against the desk he was staring at. He met eyes with me, though instead of his usual turning around or covering himself with his blanket, he let me look at him.

"Look, Sinjin. I don't know what you've been through, but I know how it feels to be alone. Even when you're surrounded by so many people, it doesn't matter if the people you really want to be around isn't there or isn't giving you the attention you long for."

He didn't speak, though he did the next best thing. He nodded. I got Sinjin to nod! This was progress.

"My father is so busy that I long for his attention sometimes. And even when he gives it to me, most of the time I get sucked into his world and miss my chance to speak."

I didn't know where I was going with this, but I just had a feeling if I kept talking, he would too. And apparently, it was working… sort of. Sinjin this time moved again, this time pushing his blanket aside and sitting up. He was sitting up, facing me. This was incredible. He then bent down to his bedside table and opened the drawer. He pulled out a manila envelope and handed it over to me. I looked at him, silently asking permission if I could open it, and he simply nodded, understanding my intentions.

There wasn't much in the envelope, just a few things. The first was a photograph. I almost didn't recognize Sinjin in the picture. He was smiling. That was something I had yet to see in person. He was embracing someone in the photo, a younger boy who had similar features to Sinjin – same curly hair, same blue eyes, and same goofy grin. It was his brother. The one that passed away. Then I pulled out the other thing, it was a news article cutout. "Drunk racing down Main Street; 3 injured, 1 death." The article was about two cars one night racing along a stretched road at 3 in the morning. One car had two guys, both drunk; the other: Sinjin and his brother. It said that Sinjin was slightly intoxicated and the guys in the other car challenged for street racing so they did. The guys in the other car were about to ram Sinjin so he swerved, causing him to go out of control, both cars going out of control, flipping multiple times only to be stopped because both vehicles had collided. On impact, Sinjin's younger brother died, yet the others were spared. So that's what it was. Survivor's guilt.

"He was 18." That caught me off guard. Hearing a deep raspy voice. I looked up and by the look of his face, it was confirmed that Sinjin said that. So I let him continue. "I never drank or did drugs. But I wanted his 18th birthday to be fun. So we went to a club, but I got drunk and thought I could drive us home."

"Yeah but the article said the other guys started the race. Not you," I reasoned.

"But I chose to race."

"Why didn't you go home?" I asked. I think by this time, Sinjin knew that I had asked around about his story. He knew people talked anyways so he wasn't surprised. I have to admit that I did some researching last night and I found this same article. I wanted to understand Sinjin, to help him. I hope what I'm doing now goes right.

"Too ashamed. Imagine your perfect son makes one screw up, resulting in sending your younger son to death."

"I get it," I said. "But don't you think your family would be forgiving enough to just be lucky you survived?"

"I don't know. It's been too long. They've probably moved on already."

"You don't know that."

"They have Courtney so it's not like they're alone," he said. Courtney was his younger sister, around 6 years old.

"But you're alone."

"Because they're better off without me."

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you."

"Sinjin?"

Up until now, Sinjin was talking to me, but his head was facing down looking at his lap. He was too ashamed to even look me in the eyes and talk about his brother. But when he heard his name being called by someone else; a softer, more feminine and delicate voice, I noticed something inside of him sparked. He looked up at me with big eyes, figuring it was too good to be true. But I nodded at him and he slowly turned around. At the door, Beck was with a little girl.

"C-Courtney?"

Beck gave the girl an encouraging nod, letting her walk up to her brother. She stood in front of him, not even reaching his height even though he was sitting, and tried holding back tears. "I missed you."

Before answering her, she fell into her brother's arms and let her tears fall freely. Once he realized what was happening, he embraced his little sister and wept with her. I explained to him that I called his family in Utah and had told them where he went off to. This morning, I asked Dr. Vega to convince them to fly out here to see him, all expenses paid- on me. They were more than ecstatic to be reunited with their son. I stepped outside with Beck for a bit to give Sinjin and his sister some alone time, and talked to his parents. It turns out that they were a bit upset, but even more worried when their now only remaining son ran away. That all changed when the happy family reunited moments later in his room, and all was forgiven. I reminded Sinjin about grabbing some food, and to be at the cafeteria in about an hour.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Dr. Vega said she'd be back for my last 'surprise' after leaving me and Beck to walk down the hallway for a bit.

"Wow, Cool Rob. You've made this the most interesting day we've ever had here at Westwood," Beck chuckled. "What are you playing, kid?"

"I'm not playing anything, Beck," I chuckled. "I just wanted to do something for them, that's all."

"There's really nothing in it for you?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Life's not always about compromise. I learned that from my dad," I told him.

"Oh yeah? I bet your old man was a saint," Beck said.

"Actually, my dad is all about compromise. But I don't like that. So I meant that I don't care if I don't get anything in return. It's not as important to me as my dad would think."

"You're a good kid, Cool Rob," Beck smiled.

"Thanks, man. Means a lot," I said.

"So, is this all the surprises for today? You want to go upstairs and shoot some hoops as a last hurrah?"

"I'm glad you mentioned last hurrah, Beck. And no, I still have a few things left to do," I smirked.

As if on cue, my phone beeped, signaling a text from my mom.

_Honey, the Volvo is still in the shop and you're father's pretty busy, but I got someone else to bring the food. Go downstairs at 4:45. - Mom_

I checked the time and it was about 4:40. Perfect timing.

"Come on, Beck. We need to get something downstairs."

Beck shrugged, learning to just go along with everything today. He didn't mind of course, loving not being cooped up in the third floor this whole day. When we reached the first floor, I was not expecting whom I saw.

"Hey Robbie."

"Uh, Andre? Did my mom send you?"

"Yeah, she texted me an hour ago to see if you needed my help."

Oh mom. She didn't know that Aaron and I had a fight the other day. I guess this wasn't anyone's fault.

"Andre Harris. Beck Oliver. Beck, this is my friend Andre from school."

"Nice to meet you, buddy," Beck shook hands with him. Then he noticed a few boxes on the desk. "No way, cool Rob. You didn't!"

Beck saw about 10 boxes of pizza behind Andre.

"Yeah well, if it's my last day, figured the proper going away party needed pizza," I told Beck. "Unless you want hairy pudding," I winked.

"No, pizza will certainly do! Thanks, kid!" he said and grabbed a few boxes. The three of us rode the elevator up as Beck explained to Andre the 'hair in pudding story'. Andre was just as disgusted as I was when I first heard it.

Once we reached the third floor it's like the pizza was a magnet. Almost everyone got a whiff of the pizza, following the tasty aroma down the corridors while a few nurses helped Beck take them to the cafeteria. Before Andre left, we talked to a bit.

"So listen, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"No, dude. I was out of whack and I shouldn't have been so douchey. I got problems too you know. It's not just you."

"We all got problems," I chuckled.

"Yeah, but you're doing something about it. I envy that."

"Whoa that's a first. Andre Harris envies me, Robbie Shapiro."

"You know, you can tell me anything. I'll listen. You're my best friend, Rob."

"Thanks, Andre."

"Oh and sorry for screwing your chances with that one girl."

"Huh?"

"I saw how she was looking at you before Tori and I left. She's cute. Nice one," Andre winked.

"Since we're apologizing. Sorry for kissing your girlfriend," I nervously chuckled.

"You kissed Tori?"

"I might have been vulnerable…" I admitted.

"You're a douche," Andre chuckled.

"Takes one to know one," I smirked.

"But we're still cool," he fist pumped me.

"And 'Dre?" I said as he walked towards the door.

"What's up, Rob?"

"I hope you and Tori work things out. You two are made for each other."

"Thanks man," he smiled. "I'll call you tomorrow, bro."

With that, he left. Andre wasn't so bad. I'd known him all my life. I knew he'd come around for me.

**~.~.~.~.~**

The patients gathered to the cafeteria when Dr. Vega announced the pizza party. They thanked me for bringing the food and enjoyed themselves. It was a sight to see. Not a single frown was present, people were laughing merrily and making great conversation. One of the nurses turned some music on so residents could dance to it in the lobby. One look and you would never think that this was a psychiatric ward. Just a room full of happy people.

"I really got to hand it to you, kid. This was a great surprise," Beck walked up to me and patted my back.

"Well, you said they wanted a pizza party, I wouldn't miss this for the world."

Beck turned to me and gave me a look I don't think I've ever seen my own father give me. He was proud of me. "You're a good kid, Robbie."

"Thanks, buddy," I told him.

"You don't need to be here. You've got a good life. What I would give just to have what you have."

"You're half right, my friend," I pointed out. "I did need to be here… to help Sinjin and Sikowitz, and to find myself."

"So that means you're going to visit us often, right?" Beck asked.

"Visit Westwood, yes. But you, no."

"And I thought we were friends," Beck mockingly feigned hurt.

"No man," I laughed. "I mean, I know you're going to leave soon and make things right too."

"I'm kidding," Beck chuckled. Then he lightly sighed. "But you're right, Cool Rob. Thanks to you, I called Jade last night and talked to her. Really talked things out. Turns out, she does need me."

"And?" I asked anxiously.

"She's giving me another chance," he smiled to himself. "Another chance to be a father to Lily, and a husband to her.

"That's awesome, Beck," I smiled. "I know you won't disappoint."

"Thanks, kid."

"You know, if I'm lucky enough, I'd want to grow up and be just like you."

"You're joking right?" Beck laughed. "Why?"

"Because," I explained. "I've never met a guy with a big heart."

"Well damn, now you're going to make me cry," Beck chuckled. We man hugged and patted each other's backs.

"Okay enough of the cheesiness. Save some for your girlfriend," Clearly, sentimental Beck went right back to fun Beck.

"I don't have a girlfriend," I rolled my eyes.

"Then why is little Ms. Cat looking over at us?" he flashed his signature smirk and nodded towards her direction.

She was chatting it up with Dr. Vega and a few other nurses, enjoying some pizza herself. When she got here, she grew wide-eyed when she learned I was the one who bought pizza for the floor. Since she'd been a volunteer here for so long, she knew about the long-standing request for this. She and I shared a quick smile and since then we went our separate ways chatting it up with other residents while they enjoyed the party. Until now, I was feeling pretty confident. Now that Beck brought her up, I started to falter.

"Let me give you a piece of advice that works with Jade all the time. No matter what she says, if you agree with her, she'll be satisfied."

With that, he shoved me towards her direction and I stumbled to keep my cool.

"Hey Robbie," she smiled warmly. So far so good. Doesn't seem like she hates me.

"Hey Cat, enjoying yourself?" I asked coolly.

"Yeah I am. So is everyone else. This was as nice gesture you know," she told me.

"It's nothing," I shrugged.

"Well, Mr. Modest, whether you want to admit it or not, it was sincere to say the least," she winked.

"Um, do you want to go outside for a bit? You know, get some air," I asked. For some reason I needed to be alone with her to talk.

"Sure," she said. The two of us walked to the patio of the cafeteria. Usually they wouldn't give access to the residents after hours, but since we were having a party and a majority of the staff was here, they let it stay open for a little while longer. We could still hear a dull roar from the music and chatter inside, but at least she and I were alone. I was getting nervous by the minute.

"So guess what?" I initiated the conversation.

"What's up?" she asked cheerfully.

"I told my mom that I was going to tell my dad I don't want to be a businessman."

"That's great, Rob. So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Probably write. I mean, I loved reading stories to the kids and lately Dr. Vega's been having me write my thoughts down on paper. Seems like a great outlet, you know?"

"Would you ever let me read your writing?" she asked cheekily.

"Of course! I might even write about you one day if you're lucky," I winked.

She giggled at me. "So really, Robbie. Why'd you do all this for them?"

"Because they wanted a pizza party," I said non-chalantly.

"So what about the others? Sinjin? Sikowitz? The kids?" she speculated.

I turned away and stared at the cotton candy sky. The sun was setting and the city looked so beautiful. Los Angeles does have its perks, and the scenery was definitely one of them. It calmed me a bit before I gathered some sense, and courage, to speak.

"I don't know really. I just wanted to, you know? Like a part of me felt like I had to do something about it and so I did. I mean, I know I just met these people and all, but I care about them now."

"Wow," she was speechless. Heck, I didn't even know what to say.

"And I care about you too." There, I said it. There was no turning back. _Robbie, you idiot. You probably messed things up even more._

"Me too," she said softly. But enough for me to hear. I know she didn't ask, but I still felt like I needed to explain myself from yesterday.

"I've had the biggest crush on my best friend's girl since the day I met her. But I don't want a crush."

"No?" she looked at me confused.

I shook my head but kept my focus on the sunset. "A crush is too perfect. And I'm not looking for perfect."

"What are you looking for then?" she asked.

"For someone who understands me. And accepts me." Then I turned to her. "And I know someone who does."

Cat grew nervous; I could figure it out through her movements. Now she didn't want to look at me.

"I'm really sorry for the awkwardness for yesterday. I really didn't mean to complicate your life."

"It's okay Robbie, everything's fine," she dismissed, but I wasn't convinced.

"No really, I mean it."

"We all need a little chaos in our lives sometimes," she smiled at me.

"Right," I returned the gesture. "So… uh…. I'm new at this, so I don't know what to say next."

"Well what do you want, Robbie?" she asked me sincerely.

"Uh… how about we start off as friends?" I shrugged.

"Alright," she seemed slightly crushed, but still kept that smile on her pretty face. I did the stupidest thing and held out my hand. Man, was I really butchering this moment. She looked at my ridiculously confused and frustrated face and giggled before shaking my hand.

"And I thought you said you knew what I was feeling," she coyly remarked.

"Huh?" I asked. Then I remember what Daisy and I said yesterday to her. _When you care about someone, you can feel what they feel too. _And I felt it all right. Before I knew it, something warm and inviting was pressed against my lips. When I registered what was going on and finally responded, Cat pulled me in closer and kissed me passionately. After she broke the kiss, I swear I was in her trance. That kiss was better than anything I had ever imagined.

"I guess if you want to take it slow, then we can be friends," she playfully sighed. We hugged it out and started to walk back inside. I intertwined our fingers making that bold move, and to my surprise, she squeezed my hand. Before disappearing into the crowd she turned back to me, gave me a quick peck on the lips, and said coyly, "Unless… you want to be more than friends." With a wink that could make me melt like putty, she turned her heels and went back inside.

I didn't know what tonight meant between Cat and me, if we were friends or if we were dating, but at least I know it's promising and the feelings were mutual. We get to start over, and I think that's what everyone needed. I walked in moments after her and just took in the sight in front of me. I saw a room full of broken souls, but none of them shy of life. They say everything happens for a reason and I felt like Dr. Vega knew all along that I was meant to be here. And that I wouldn't end up checking in. Instead, I'd check-in as a volunteer. To help people like Sikowitz move on from the past. Help people like Sinjin get out of bed. Help someone like Beck feel needed. And help someone like Cat learn to love again. It's funny how much we seriously take life for granted. How we think we're so alone when really we're shutting people out ourselves. Life doesn't owe us anything, we owe life. We owe ourselves the right to live. And the people I see here, well they're worth living for.

_The End._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: About a year ago, I wrote this story for a special someone. They were a huge part of my life at the time, but of course life happened and things happened. But it's all good. We're still good. We're still friends.**

**Let me start off by saying that this story is loosely based off the movie "It's Kind Of A Funny Story", one of my favorite films. It is a story about a boy who wants to commit suicide but finds help at a psych ward from unlikely strangers. Some people hate to admit but I'm telling you that I used to be depressed. I was in a dark part of my life a few times. I felt nothing. I felt worthless. I felt alone. But all it takes is one person, one smile, one thing to light your world, and each time I was depressed/suicidal, something or someone without knowing pulled me out of the dark side. I just want you guys to know that there is always someone out there who cares about you. And if you don't think that, then think of me. I care about you. If it weren't for you guys reading and talking to me on FF, I wouldn't be this bold, confident person I am now. You guys cheer me up on my stressful days. Even though it's been a while since I've been on here. All I have to do is think of you guys and a smile creeps on my face.**

**Like I said in the beginning of the story, we're all slowly losing time for FF, but I'm sure we like to reminisce. I know I do. I'm going to try to finish a story or two that I still have incomplete, but when I post my final story, you'll know. **

**This has been one heck of a year. Thanks for being in it with me :)**


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